Something stupid I put together to show my current mood.
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So today I got up and realized that my class was actually NEXT wednesday. Dammit! I stressed myself out doing work for nothing. (Ah well, at least I have a free day).
Anyway, so Arwa tells me today that ’she likes me’. I freak out for a second. At the moment I like her as a friend… I didn’t want to reject her and make her feel bad. What I said was the truth, I’m in a complicated situation right now.

In my heart I miss Aiko so much… I think about her everyday… Plus this is my final year, EVEN if I was going to date Arwa, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

I feel like shit right now… I hope we are still friends, but I know that there is always going to be an awkward moment when we see each other. I do like her eyes though.

Yesterday I DJ-ed at a Chinese event. Things went wrong from the get go. The venue was changed at the last minute from Level 2 to Mondos. As I was mixing, I grabbed the mic and tried to get people close to the dance floor. As things started to get jumping I see a spark. I ignore it. This time there is a HUGE spark and *silence*. People stop, stare at me, wondering what the problem is, some boo… I panic… I look down, the damn adapter that the venue provided had blown! No matter. They brought another one… It blew up… another one… this time there were some flames, but everything worked fine!

Jolin gave me a track to play, just as people were jumping again, audio stops. What’s going on?? The song that she gave me had a problem… *sighs* at the end of the day, people ended up dancing. The night was salvaged, but I was rather annoyed.

I came home again with a feeling of emptiness. I do so much with my life, yet I feel like I have nothing. I’m not content with studying law. I want to be creative. I have so many ideas in my mind, but nobody to help actualize them…

I wish I could come home from a stressfull day and someone (Aiko) was there to hug me…

Press play to hear the song that best decribes my feelings at the moment, but dont get me wrong, I don’t want to ‘Let Go’ I want to hold onto what I want the most. (You probably wont understand the words, but close your eyes and listen to the song, it will move you)

Well I was feeling so good but now I’m not feeling as great. On a couple of occassions I have missed some tutorials. One of my favourite tutors John White seems to be very angry at me although not saying anything. I had a class today but I overslept. I wasn’t feeling to well because I just heard last night that one of my best friend’s had died.

I don’t want to let anybody down, but what can I do when nobody helps me up….

I love candles. Watching the flame flicker. Its power to invoke romance. Its luring abilities to bring out words that can make a girl melt.

Today I went to town to see if I could get a few Gap shirts. I took Selin, Hussain and Arwa with me. We walked around a bit, did a bit of shopping, and when we got up, it was time to lay back, work on some assignments and put up the tree early.

Selin amuses me. I love seeing her trying to push me and Arwa together. I observe alot. The way Arwa twiddles her hair when she is around me. The way that they send each other texts even though they are both in the same room. The way that Arwa always has to sit next to me because there is ‘no other choice’. She’s very cute.
She is indeed a very pretty girl. My heart is still in Aiko’s hands though…

Here is an exerpt from http://gangs.iktib.com

As I stood there, I placed my hands into my pocket and clutched the key. The key that I had received with the newspaper. I remembered others saying they didn’t get one. A thought rushed through my mind; “Perhaps this key opens up something special for me”.

In the end. I won. A prize much more valuable than 10,000 pounds.

At the event I met a guy named Yok. He’s an interesting person. Direct. Loud. Concise. I enjoyed his attitude as there are not many individuals like him. We went to the Spearmint Rhino. A great place which I can now recommend. We then discussed our own businesses and goals. Hopefully we’ll be able to help each other out in the long run.

So Omar goes into a diabetic shock. I go to bed at around 5 and Omar sleeps over because my friend Shingo was staying over. 1 hour after going to bed I start hearing these wierd noises. I get up, I think Omar is having a bad dream. So I go up to him and say “Shut the fuck up! I’m trying to sleep!!”. As I walk away and wake up Shingo, I then think that he might be in shock. So me and Shingo raise his head and I go to google to research what to do. Long story short, we gave him some Sugar and Water and he was fine like 30 mins later.

It really annoyed me because Omar had diabetes all his life and he should know this shit happens if he’s not carefull!

Anyway, I went back to bed and I kept waking up either due to texts or calls. I almost smashed my phone to bits!

When I finally got up, I went to town to return some items that I got from ebay, went to Gap to buy some shirts, then went to eat with Shingo, Omar, Jianan, Hussain, and Jiu. I planned to later go with Hussain, Jianan, Jiu, Selin, Arwa and Felicity to the cinema and then eat, however the cinema was fully booked and the cafe was booked as well. No problem. We go to my house, eat, watch some tv, play some uno and then they all leave except for Felicity. We sit and chat for a while and I then drop her home.

A cool thing that happened today is that I got the tickets to the competition on tuesday. Finger’s crossed that I win something! Keep praying you blog readers!!!

days have passed now and I’ve just been working hard on my assignments and helping with the Japanese and the Ju Jitsu society.
I went to uni and finally organized my dissertation. I now feel a releif and just need to write up a general outline to send to my tutor to accept.
Other than that, my schedule is quite full. Uni tomorrow, outing on saturday, japanese stuff on monday, london on tuesday etc..

The shirts I designed for JuJitsu arrived, people seemed to be happy. I was stung by customs though. Damn!

I need to go to London on Tuesday because of a competition. I’m really hoping that I’ll win. The prize is 10,000 pounds. If I could have 10k to spare I’d be so happy.

Christina sent me a few IM’s thanking me for a wallpaper I sent her. I think I spotted Jolin when I was on the way to town. I’m not sure though. I need to ask. Hope she didn’t think I ignored her!

Anyway, off to bed now.

So here is a bombshell. This girl Jolin that met me in the club, she comes online today and after chatting she says “I need to tell you the truth. I lied” I said, “about what?” She said “I’ve got a boyfriend”.

She explained that she didn’t tell me that she didn’t have a boyfriend because she was afraid I wouldn’t be her friend. I guess I can understand where she’s coming from, but then again, I’m not that type of person :S…

So she asked me if we could still be friends and I said “of course.. we’re friends”. I guess alot of guys she knew just didn’t want to be her friend because she had a boyfriend? I don’t know. After a while
we started talking about Aiko and how I miss her etc…

I kind of felt sorry that Jolin felt she had to lie in the first place, but at least now everything is fine. Now I guess I’m her first ‘English/Arabic’ friend.

so I got up today. replied to a couple of texts and then got a text from Felicity. We got to chatting and it seems like I may have hit the nail on the head. What I did like though is that she seemed to acknowledge her fault about ‘robotically releasing comments’. After that though we seemed to be chatting like normal people. A few compliments here and there and I’m happy. (heh heh)

Perhaps we can be good friends. (If you read this Felicity, these are just thoughts that run through my mind, it is afterall a blog )

So today in the morning I went to the Sauna and Steam room. I love going after a hard day’s time in the gym.
When i got back, I immediately called Aiko as I said I would. We spoke for about 10 minutes. It was really great. We had a real conversation.

Soon after, I went to the gym for a light work out. Did a bit of jogging, worked out my shoulders and triceps.

I came home and started to tidy for the little gathering. When I went to my pc, I noticed Christina typed “Boo!!”, which was surprising since she ditched Ju Jistsu yesterday. When she came online, I invited her to the little party but she didn’t reply. (Surprise there…)

When the guys came we chatted a bit. First thing I notice is Felicity. Felicity is probably the most sarcastic person I’ve ever met. Coupled with her petite cuteness and you have someone that you don’t know if you want to punch or shrug off. When she entered she was already making her judgements quietly. I noticed her look at my DVD collection. She spotted the DVD labelled ‘Private’. Little does she know, those are just my video diaries. Of course I know she assumed they were porn. No matter, I don’t care.
So I go out to get food, come back, feed everyone at the party then we decide to do some NOS and sing Karaoke. First thing I hear in the background is Felicity whispering some rude remarks about whether we’re going to be doing something gay, then she sits and tries to stare without making it obvious at what were doing (perhaps slightly worried), and finally, she leans over to whomever is next to her and starts to comment.

Today I woke up late. I missed my classes.
As soon as I did wake up, I quickly typed up my course-work and emailed it to my teacher, I hope it’s fine.
As soon as I was done I decided to handle some business. I fired one of my staff for not handeling customer services very well. I immediately started to sift through various application forms which were sent to me when I was hiring to see if I could find a replacement.

5pm I called Aiko, luckily she answered, but she seemed to be sleeping. I feel happy to hear her voice on the phone. I told her I’d call the day after so she could go to bed.

Around 5:50 I started to head out for Ju Jitsu. I sent a text to Christina reminding her of the time. After I arrived I then sent another text at 6:25 to let her know I was upstairs and not downstairs. She didn’t come which was kind of disappointing because she was doing so well. I imagine that something came up though. She should be happy that she’s going to get a nice hoodie. It’s high quality too.

I trained some students to do the triangle, then how to get out of it. One of the female students did very well and she improved alot! I forget her name though. I was also impressed by the enthusiasm of one of the Bermese guys.

Around 8:30 I then invited some of the group to my house for dinner on Saturday. I’d invite Christina but I don’t want her to get the wrong impression (if I send too many texts). She’s already said she’s fine though with it, but many who read my blog will know that I think too much. I try to anticipate what comes next, and that is my weakness.

Tomorrow is slightly busy. Steam Room at 1-3. Ju Jitsu training from 4-5. Little Dinner party from 7. Hope it goes well.

So today I felt like watching. After I got up and paid the electrician for changing the light switch, I got dressed and went to uni. I met up with a few friends, but after that I just sat in the square and watched people pass by.

It’s interesting to see the way they act, how they dress, and to see that most people don’t really pay attention to their surroundings.

I like to sit, analyze, and understand people. Maybe I like to understand people because I’m trying to understand the human mind. Who knows.

As I sit in Square 3, I listened to my iPod and kind of hoped to see Jolin. I saw her friend pass by but not her. I wonder what type of a person she is. From her blog, she seems to be like any typical girl. Searching for someone. Disappointed by a guy.

I’ve chatted to her a couple of times and she seems to be a hard worker. That’s a good thing of course.

I sent Aiko another email today letting her know that I would call her tomorrow. I wonder if she will answer…

Well I found my keys. I dropped the stuff off at Christina’s house. She is very L.A. I’m reminded of Kendra from Girls of the Playboy Mansion. Is she just being very nice to me or am I getting a signal? I wish I could be direct and just ask, but sadly life isn’t like that. Anyway, just chatted for a few minutes and then I left. The good news is that I found my keys in the bag!! Yes!

I sent Aiko an email… no reply… I think of her everyday, I wonder if she’s still thinking of me. It’s been so long since I heard her voice. Last email I got from her was over a month ago… Am I nothing now?

Jolin added me on MSN messenger, she was struggling with an assignment. I was happy to help her. I thought it was funny that I met her in a club and that just one day later I’m helping with an assignment.

Anyway,
now I need to wake up early, sort out my dissertation, call an electrician, go to class, Ju jistu, and who knows.

Lessons of the day:
1) You never know when it’s time to move on.
2) When life gives you a break, take it.
3) Always call an electrician.